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Tuesday, September 27, 2011

I JUST WANT SOME DAMN WALLPAPER

Excuse my language.  I'm sorry, but I am quite angry.  Maybe I'm just reaaaally naive or something, but HOW HARD IS IT TO GET WALLPAPER these days. I mean seriously.  For example, I go to Sherman Williams- "I would like to see the Waverly Light Garden wallpaper"..."Ummm we don't have that? Check online." Me: "I did, it says you have it."...."Weird it's not showing up in our system." (Disclaimer: they were actually really nice and helpful but my frustration is causing me to over exaggerate)

That was my first clue that this might be harder than I thought. Then flashback to yesterday.  Call a they-who-shall-not-be-named place in Houston that claim to have Osborne and Little wallpaper. 
Me (very politely I might add): "Yes ma'am, I have a question regarding wallpaper."
She-who-must-not-be-named: "Yeah, what do you want."
I just wanted to scream REWD at her and hang up. But I persisted. 
"I need me some O & L wallpaper."
Her: "We only sell to registered designers."
Me: "What? OK? Thanks?"
Her: "Try Wallpapers-To-Go." (Hint hint she needs to be fired)

Then I tried my luck in Austin...YEP you guessed it, registered designers only. WTH? Are they kidding me? Again, maybe my naivety speaking.

SO THEN I call the mother ship herself- Osborne & Little in New York. No you did-int. Oh yes I did.  Got real excited, then got real sad again.  Yep, interior designers only.  The layday was super super nice and helped me out by recommending a store in their building who sells it to 3rd parties.  Am I a 3rd party?!?!?! WHY YES I AM. Little old me who doesn't have a registered design license.  I think she felt bad for me when I exclaimed...I JUST WANT SOME WALK IN THE PARK WALLPAPER.

So I call up Jason. Why of course ma'am we can get you the wallpaper...Oh you live in Texas? No problem, we can ship it to you....You can order whatever you want.

JACKPOTTTTTTTTTTT EXCELLLLLLENTTTTTT ARRIIIIIIBBAAAAAA!

Oh but ma'am, BTW, we charge 20% more than the normal price. Plus tax. Plus shipping & handling.  There ain't no thing as a free lunch people.

The way I see it my options are:
A) Pay 20% over normal (plz don't make me)
B) Go back to design school for 3 years, take my test, become a registered designer, and get all the discounts I want. Mwahahaha #notgonnahappen
C) Befriend a registered interior designer, let them get the loot, and owe them my life.  I'll even throw in my teacher's discount whenever they want. 15% off at J CREW or Office Max? Come onnnnn.

Point of the story is, this is proving harder than I thought.  But these things take hard work, and I know in the end it shall all be worth it.

Xoxo, RSS soon to be RSD

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