I have a confession: I had my first pregancy freak out. Ok that was a lie. This is my second or third. But this time was a little different. EVERYTHING is perfectly fine thank goodness. But over the past few days I think I had my first ''am I ready'' breakdown.
It all started yesterday afternoon with Finn. She came into the house from outside with blood all over her paw. I started cleaning it but then it would gush all over again-- cue freak out. Instinct kicked in and I immediately put the other two dogs away and started getting Finn ready to go to the vet. Picture a pregnant woman trying to control a 92 pound dog on a leash by herself. This might seem easy to some people but Brett ALWAYS takes care of this part. We go to the vet together but he holds her, gets her in the car, gets her out, keeps her from other dogs at the vet, etc etc. This part scares me. But I had to manage so off we went. I finally got her into the vet and immediately had no control over her. She LOVES the people at the vet so gets really hyper and excited. Not to mention there were like 3 other dogs in there that were trying to sniff and bark at her. UGH. Anyways, she was perfectly fine and just hurt her nail so we got antibiotics and instructions. Then the tears came when I couldn't even get her back into the car. I had to pick her up, which of course made me worried about the baby. Then I just bawled the entire trip back home and until I got her inside safe.
My dad happened to call me mid-breakdown. Through my tears I said-- I can't even take Finn to the vet by myself, what am I going to by myself when the baby is here? To which he responded-- but you DID do it. You did it by yourself. You got her there and back. No one is ever really ready but you will be great. A light went off in my head. Yes it was scary and stressful but I did it and she was fine and I was fine. I know a dog and a baby aren't the same, but for some reason they were all connected in my head yesterday...and let me tell you I've never been more thankful for my husband for all he does.
All of this happened on top of me being worried about little man. I thought I had been feeling him on and off for a couple weeks now, but it wasn't until last Wednesday when it was like for real for real. Brett could feel him moving under his hand and I felt distinct kicks (YAYYYYY!!!). Since then I felt nothing. Maybe slight movements as to what I can only describe as "gas bubbles??" but nothing like last Wednesday. Well then I decided to google it. DO NOT EVER GOOGLE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR BABY STOPS KICKING. It's not pleasant. Cue freak out. I tried everything google said to get your baby to kick- orange juice, cold water, warm bath. Nada. We even have a dr appointment next Monday but no way I could wait that long. I decided to call the dr this morning and they squeezed me in for a quick check up. Let me tell you, there is no better feeling than hearing that little heart beat and knowing he is okay. I was so embarassed, but I love the peeps at my hospital because they deal with me and all my worries. Just between that and yesterday I felt so worn down and embarassed. But let me tell you I learned SO much. About myself and how to deal with different situations. I'm not really sure what the point of this post was-- but I couldn't really write about my chili recipe when all of this was weighing on my mind. Ya hurrd?
Oh and Brett also has a pool going on how many times I make us go to the hospital because I think I'm going into labor. That WILL happen. Mark my words.
One last thing- baby boy will be here in exactly FOUR months from yesterday. Isn't that crazy?! I know time will fly by too with the holidays and things. Now if we could just decide on a name....:)
ryann (baby momma)